In Memory of Jeff Etkind
By his friend, Cynthia Huling Hummel
(shared at Jeff's Memorial service on 9/22/16
Six summers ago, I got a phone call that would change my life. “Hello, this is Jeff Etkind and behalf of my family, I would like to welcome you to Elmira. “ Soon Jeff and I met in person and the rest is history. We started out as family and we ended up as friends. To some, we were the odd couple. I mean really- a Presbyterian pastor and a conservative Jewish man? But it worked for us. We were both people of faith- and we respected one another and we had fun together. We soon became best friends!
Jeff’s life revolved around three things- his faith, his family and his friends. Jeff was a man of great faith and a pillar of this faith community. And one of the greatest blessings in my life was that Jeff shared his faith with me. This was his faith community! This is the community that he and Debbie grew up in. It was his life. Yes, He loved being part of Shomray Haddath and Kol Ami, and Jeff was active in all aspects of Jewish life. He was a lifelong member of the congregation, a member of the Board of Directors and a member of the JCC. He suggested that I join JCC and I did -five years ago—and we both looked forward to getting a chocolate bar with the payment of our annual dues. Jeff loved helping with Jazzy Junque and wandering around the social hall looking for dvds and CD’s to top off his amazing collection. He loved all the special events here- the Sisterhood dinners, Trivia Night (our team won thanks to him), the Car Show (which recently became the Cocktails and Knosh affair, the Yom Kippur costume party, the Jewish food festival and more. But getting him to services or an event on time was always a bit of a challenge … Jeff’s motto was “why be on time, when you could come 15 minutes late?” We all loved him! Jeff lived his faith and loved sharing it with others.
Yes, more than anything, Jeff loved teaching in the Hebrew School and sharing his faith with young people. He looked forward to the celebrations with his students- especially bar and bat mitzvahs. How many people here had a Wednesday class or a Sunday school class with Mr. Etkind? He loved teaching about his faith and loved looking for ways to liven up the lessons- showing movies, playing games, anything to make a lesson stick. He often told me, how much he loved being part of your life. He would rearrange his plans so he could attend your special life events. He taught in the Hebrew School for 36 years! That’s quite a legacy!
Yes, Jeff loved teaching- not just here at the synagogue but in the Elmira Community and everywhere we went together, former students would come up and say hello to him. “You were my favorite teacher”; “You made school fun” ; “You really cared about me” ; and “Thanks Mr. Etkind.” Jeff was my teacher too, teaching me about Jewish life and introducing me to his wonderful friends, who have since become wonderful friends to me.
But Jeff didn’t just talk about his faith, he lived his faith, he was constantly doing mitzvahs (good deeds). Jeff was always on the lookout for youngsters who needed guidance- and love- and a helping hand. He was kind and generous, and helped wherever and whenever he could. His latest project was reading with some neighborhood children. Jeff introduced me to the Artic League- and for those who are from out of town the Artic League is quite an Elmira community tradition -packing Christmas gifts for children in need. He loved being part of it. Jeff was a good man and a good friend.
Many of us here today, were blessed by Jeff’s friendship and he loved doing things with and for his friends. Okay, how many folks here today, ever received a personalized Jeff Etkind CD? He loved making music CDs for his family and friends. Jeff made me THE best collection Christmas music ever! (3 cd’s) . He loved making CD’s and giving them to us as gifts! I have never met anyone like Jeff Etkind—he was an encyclopedia of music trivia. He could name the original artist, the number of weeks on the charts and the record label. I used to tell him, that he could get a job as a DJ on a radio station. A shout out to the Class of 67--- Jeff looked forward to your monthly get-togethers and reminiscing with you all. He loved to play a round of golf and go to watch the Jackals! He had season tickets. He loved going to plays and seeing his students perform on stage. He would beam with pride. Your successes made his heart sing.
Jeff was active in the Elmira community and was somewhat of a celebrity. We would go into Lights Diner or another restaurant, and folks would come up and chat with him about everything and anything. He loved volunteering for the Friends of the Library Book sale and played an active role in politics. Jeff was always looking for signatures for someone or something. He was not shy about promoting someone who he felt would be a good leader for our community, region or nation. Jeff loved his bank- and the free give-aways during the summer. We would go from branch to branch- (the tellers all knew Jeff) for the free car washes, the give-aways and free food. Jeff had a sweet tooth and Emily, Jeff and I spent many a hot summer evening down at King Kone. One of my happy memories was the Jazz concert just two weeks ago at the Elmira Arts Center. He circled the dessert table several times. Remember the phrase, “betcha can’t eat just one.” Well Jeff couldn’t. Gosh, we had so many fun adventures together. He was easy and fun to be around. He was Uncle Jeff (with the big smile and the suspenders to me) to me and to my friends and family and I was “Miss Cynthia” to him. What happy memories..
More than anything else, Jeff loved YOU his family and my heart goes out to all of you this afternoon.. Jeff especially loved getting phone calls and cards from you and reading notes from you on Facebook. (Do you remember the year that Facebook went down on his birthday. Oh my gosh, it was terrible). Thankfully, this year, Facebook was up- but he still waited near the phone for you to call him with birthday greetings. And you did! Debbie, he loved being your brother and he counted down the days- to your visit with Susan this summer (and how long he had to clean off the dining room table) Jeff loved all of you-- Debbie and Jim and all of the kids and talked about you all to me. Yep, cousins, nieces, nephews- and kept me posted on what you were up to. He was so very proud of you all and loved being your “Uncle Jeff/Cousin Jeff and Brother Jeff.” He looked forward to family gatherings and to seeing you all- and giving you those CD’s that he created (handpicking songs just for you)- they were his gifts of love. Jeff saved things that you made him, and gifts you gave him. Some might call it clutter, but these things were his treasures. There were stories of love behind so many of the things that Jeff saved ..they were memories of you.) You lit up his life… and Jeff loved life! He loved his family and friends.. and most of all, he loved his G_d and today, we thank G_d for him! Jeff lived a life of great faith. We loved Jeff and will miss his sweet smile- what a blessing he was in our lives. As the Rabbi shared: Surely, goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever (Psalm 23:6) Rest in peace, dear friend in G_d’s loving arms. Amen.
